Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Tory Burch resort 2014


Dearest Tor,

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you but I just haven’t had a minute to breathe... busy …busy ….busy!!  Okay, so I want to tell you my thoughts on the resort collection which I must tell you has just baffled me. I am just torn between thinking you are the wasp version of Miuccia meets Rachel Zoe or that you might honestly think these clothes are fabulous and that you are some wunderkind of design.  I am here to tell you doll, they are NOT fabulous on any level and shouldn’t or won’t be confused as being such and sadly, you aint no wunderkind except maybe of marketing , bit I think Chris had more of a hand in that than you.

Now listen, as your BFF, I know you wanted to pay homage to Mom when you started this business and I know the business has become wildly successful, heaven knows why, but WTF are you thinking with this mess of a collection?  I understand that you wanted to show your stuff and build a brand but, girlfriend, who wants to look like they dressed in a dark unorganized closet with a hat or accidentally found some Auntie Topsy’s  hand me downs hiding in the back your closet?  Think about it Tor… even you don’t look good in these clothes so how and why should anyone else?  Oh, and by the way could you please stand up straight when you have your photo taken and try not point your feet towards each other … very uncool!

Please, I beg you, stop already with these Chanel type jackets and these odd ball prints which compound the fashion felonies by being coupled with each other in odd ways that can certainly not be construed as flattering or even pretty.  Girlina, you just need to figure out who you are and get t with the program.  You started with such fantastic jewelry at the beginning now it all looks like thrift store finds reproduced at astronomical prices to be worn in the most absurd ways.  The shorthand on this is … get it together there Tor!

Now, honeybee, you know I love you and I wish you all the success in the world after having raised a small army of kids while toughing it out at the Pierre, but I beg of you...please straighten out your point of view and stop clothing throngs of unsuspecting women in these eyesores that they think are fashionable!  Be reasonable, go back to Mom’s closet and dig deeper as I am sure she had more than a few seasons worth of looks …. Pretty please!! That’s my girl.

 So listen Tor, I know you are jammed up with all the store openings and products launches and appearances and lawsuits but we simply must take a coffee some time very soon..... I am just desole  that we haven’t chatted face to face in so long … kiss kiss . Ciao my sweet... looking forward to some girl talk with you

Love

Me