Saturday, June 22, 2013

Versace men's Spring 2014




Dearest Donatellamamma mia,

OMG!!! Another season another reason to just lose your mind... is that what happens?  Dios mio girl, what was that?  Yes I know you got in your ode to Gianni and the brand DNA and you got in your Stephen Sprouse day glow moment and you might have even gotten  in your 70s Marimekko moment with those boomerang swathes of color.  The problem is that too much of anything can lead you down the road to disaster…ahem think about this doll … you have known this problem both professionally and personally.



Okay Dona, you managed to get in all the requisites for a Spring show including a display of male pulchritude, shorts, tailoring, sleeveless shirts, swimwear and of course leather.  The problem is you kept beating the dead horse way after it had died.  You just can’t quit while you are ahead... now can you?  To complicate matters more, the clothes really started to look cheap... I mean cheap like maybe Forever21 cheap and that aint good.  Had you spliced in your gimmicks with a suitable amount of real Versace clothes you might have had a winning collection but how the hell can you even think that yellow zebra prison stripe 2 piece even belonged in the lineup, let alone the over studded and spiked and embellished jeans…so over!  Then you showed bland swimsuits with the swath print tops which didn’t even raise one’s pulse so …why?...sadly comical.




I know Allegra won’t tell you this, but honey it is time to hang it up and get someone in there to design and steer this ship before it sinks to the bottom and it is on the way already and in a hurry at this rate.  You have already said that you are not a designer and yet you insist on hammering home the point until there will be no doubt I anyone’s mind that this is the truest thing you ever said.

I hope you will take this in the spirit it was intended which is for you to take heed before it is too late and while we are on the subject… sleeveless dresses for you are now out of the question as is that hair and angel ..Think about finding a new surgeon prontissimo... you are now looking a bit worse for the wear, something akin to that dead horse you keep beating.   And sorry to keep doing this but it is time to ditch the 3 inch platforms.

J