Calvin Klein 205 W 39 NYC pre fall 2019

I get it! Apparently the models got dressed in a dark closet wearing someone else’s clothes. Right? 

click image to enlarge

Besides the obvious clunkers what exactly is new here? The puddling pants? The bicolor pants or maybe it’s the knock off of the Michael Vollbracht for Bloomingdales shopping bag? Maybe it is the ill-fitting clothes, the apparently poorly made clothes or the ones that look like they come from Chico’s.

click image to enlarge

Okay that should sum it up ... as they say at the scene of an accident … nothing to see here keep on moving ... Sadly this was no accident... this is intentional… unappealing as it is!

click image to enlarge

Get ready influencers, now’s your chance to rummage around thrift stores again or get out your sewing machines and work a miracle.

click image to enlarge

My favorites are the Ungaroesque patent leather dress, the feather dress under the Chanel jacket and them  of course the over layering just in case you need to warm up or cool off and let’s not forget thaose Working Girl  suits for the female executive!

CALVIN KLEIN 205W39NYC spring 2019

JAWS and THE GRADUATE are the supposed cinematic inspirations for this joke of a collection. The faux intellectual and faux designer Raf Simons has finally taken a heritage brand and turned it into a joke … not a parody but a joke.

click image to enlarge

 If you asked me what the visual take aways might have been from both of those films, I  might have said sharks obviously, leopard, virginity, fright, seduction, water, Ann Bancroft and Roy Scheider and cougar town.

click image to enlarge

 Well, this genius got leopard lined neoprene wetsuits, the dowdiest of dresses, Annie Hall  blazers,  a graduation cap  and one big heap of who wants to pay good money to look like they shopped at Good Will… and not in a good way. I  sure hope for Raf’s sake they keep selling underwear, jeans and scent because this shit aint gonna fly  unless of course it is given to the great influencers of our times though I doubt it is sexy enough or ostentatious enough for those selfies on Instagram.

click image to enlarge

 I have said once and I will continue to say it ... designers like Raf who fancy themselves as intellects, art connoisseurs and lastly as designers should really get out of this business and see who else might give a crap about what they think or have to say. I am happy Calvin is very rich as his brand could not have strayed further from its roots than this pile of rags. I was never a Calvin fan but the brand had a place on the international fashion stage and he captured the zeitgeist of that era but now it’s so embarrassing that it is even called fashion.

click image to enlarge

 So, let the paid for reviews begin and the fawners can start fawning and the victims can run off to any thrift store and start their search but I stand by the fact that this is butt ugly shit designed for hype sake and certainly not for any commercial reasons other than to sell everything other than  clothes.

click image to enlarge

 PS... Dear Raf, I hope you enjoyed yet one more wet dream

Calvin Klein Fall 2018

I would like to name this collection “the homeless medieval prairie road kill collection” or maybe “frost bite” or “where’s the flail?”(look it up)   If ever there was a collection that offers insight into what defines a schizophrenic episode this was it. I mean it must be great to be Raf who honestly believes this is what Calvin Klein is all about.  In his twisted demented mind I am sure he backs it all up with the faux intelligence and esoterica of a deluded drooling rambling man. 

click image to enlarge

By the way, last week, I incorrectly attributed the eponymous Raf Simon’s collection for being the Calvin Klein collection.

click image to enlarge

click image to enlarge

I am not sure how to even go about trying to explain or assess what was sent out on a snowy runway other than to say WTF are you thinking and who are you kidding here with this pile of rags… but oh the balaclavas, the Elizabethan Coifs,(look it up) and a fur coat that looked like it still had the bullet hole in it! Somehow in all my years I never thought of or equated the “roadrunner” with the brand of Calvin Klein. Then again there was never a designer in this position who thinks he is more talented, more intelligent, more creative and without question filled with more hubris than any other designer before him. 

click image to enlarge

I will return to my original erroneous review to reiterate” Personally I wonder how over the top get ups like these will play in Sioux Falls … it’s possible they’ll be a hit in Butte.  Well, there is something to be said for fragrance, underwear and jeans for without them there would be none of these wet dreams that this blah blah blah mediocre designer produces on a regular basis. Sad commentary of what has become of the business and the brand”

click image to enlarge

There is no sense in trying to decode or understand what this is other than what is utter nonsense by Raf Simons who merely points and pontificates since he is above all an artist …. emesis bags  (look it up) are to be found under each seat

Calvin Klein fall men’s 2018

Tricked out Calvin! And not in a good way… or for that matter what might come to mind!

click image to enlarge

 

Yes there were some good jackets and few good coats …. And by good I mean wearable and not overly designed or gimmicked out ad nauseum. Oh right, there were lots of sweater cum scarves and then scarves cum sweaters... whatever. 

click image to enlarge

Personally I wonder how over the elbow kid gloves will play in Duluth. Maybe the rubber boots or Frankenstein lace ups will be a hit in Sioux Falls … it’s possible they look good for mucking.  Well there is something to be said for fragrance, underwear and jeans for without them there would be none of these wet dreams that the faux intellect designer produces on a regular basis. Sad commentary of what has become of the business in general … Not to mention the over the top styling ephemera and venues.

click image to enlarge

I can’t seem to find any pants in the collection other than leggings masquerading as pants and then of course it is a must to own a sweater, shirt or patch with milk carton images of missing children. Well he did emblazon one top with DRUGS and one has to wonder which is his drug of choice … the drug  that propels him to produce this kind of extravagant cavalcade of mostly pedestrian clothes.  It is these shows that simply satisfy the designer’s need for esoteric and absurd backstories which mean nothing when these things hang on a rack… and he so wants to be taken seriously as an artist and great thinker! hahhahahhahaha

click image to enlarge

 Guess it is just one more fashion victim’s delight and one more to be oohed and aaaahhed over … oh those advertising dollars … to hell with truth and honest appraisals… show me the money!