Monday, March 31, 2014

Anna Wintour.. "the never gonna happen" chat

Due to a slight bit of misinformation, this conversation can be shared today. Please take note that this "chat" is fictional but it is based upon my research  and from others who have known her during her career. Please enjoy..

1-Who would you want to follow in your footsteps?

REALLY!! What kind of question is that to ask me?? The only logical reply is that there is no one who could do what I have done and surely no one who could be as powerful as I have become and with only an eye on the bottom line. As you might have guessed ... I groomed no one to proceed me.

2-What is your favorite color and why?

GREEN!!! It’s the color of 2 things I love the most... money and envy. Well I do mean everyone else’s envy of me, after all who wouldn’t be envious of me? No matter what they say about me, I am the most powerful person in fashion; more powerful than Arnault or Pinault or any “O” hahahha

3-What do you think of the current level of taste/style in the USA/Europe?

It so doesn’t matter, I tell them all what is good taste and who is chic and who is not and if I need to sell more magazines I just wing it like that low life trash couple I put on the cover. I needed to get Vogue a larger presence on the internet and in social media so I used that garbage as a vehicle to get my way. Who cares what everyone thinks, and if that couple thinks they are now hot stuff ... they are the same filth they always were just all dressed up and on the cover of Vogue because I want them there for my own selfish reasons... Think of it ... it is deliciously evil of me  ... true … yes??

4-What is your least likable quality?

Without question of course it is my screw you attitude and the fact that everyone is cared of me. You know of what I speak... the one that says I really don’t give a crap what you think of me! It isn’t easy being me after all, look how fabulous I have become all because I had to prove to daddy that I was able to make something of myself even it meant crushing people under my feet like insects, which I do sort of love as it only reinforces my powers.

5-What quality do you most loathe in others?

Their disdain of me, after all they should be thrilled for me.  Bollocks! I have accomplished what no other woman nor man has ever achieved and that is to have so much  power over so much media and the entire fashion business that I can control what you see, buy, think, read and more. As I said it is difficult to be such a megalomaniac and to be so deserving of it

6-Do you think of yourself as a star/celebrity?

Darling now really, of course I am all of those things and I am a media mogul... a titan of power ... I just own nothing ...well of course that doesn’t count all the graft I get behind closed doors as you know I have to give the appearance of being impartial but we all know how long that lasts and after all who can be in this only for the glory!!!! I have transcended mere celebrity and am an icon for the ages ... c’est vrai!

7-During your career … who were your favorite colleagues?

Of course there is Grace, dear sweet Grace who still wants to believe in fashion, so I let her have her way and allow her the luxury of thinking she is contributing but alas she is at my mercy and my whim as they all are. I mean I have lackeys and toadies like that oaf Andre who is now gone as I just had to because he thought he could eclipse me … hahahhahaha (and now he is history like old news) … and that limp fish Mark but they are just my pawns so I don’t have to get my hands dirty. Then of course there is dear Hamish who I allow to write some puff pieces, review some shows and have some fame on his own as it is cheaper to do that than pay him more. After all darling, money is key… I need all of my perks so the others will just have to do without... n’est ce pas cheri??

8-What are your feelings about the press/media in today’s world?

I “own” the fashion media... anything that is worth anything is under my thumb ...isn’t that just delicious? Sy was such a dear to give me so much power. He actually thought I would leave but I would be mad to leave and give up all this power, the limelight and all these perks... I mean really!

9-Who did you have a crush on?

Well of course there is Roger and Rafa but I do love me some Roger... sweaty young thing …just makes me tingle!! Yes it is true... even if people think I am ice goddess I still perspire at the thought of a young Roger with a turgid member …OOPS! My bad??

10-What is your biggest pet peeve?

People who doubt me in my decision process or those who think I am overstepping my boundaries. Well, darling, I have no limits; I am Anna freakin Wintour, the kaiserine of fashion, I am omnipotent. Look at how fabulous I am and look at what I accomplished and ‘’they’’ all want a piece of me... so what if I destroy some people and magazine on the way … just collateral damage leading to my brilliant success.

11-Do you think your career would be different if there was an internet during your life?

This internet rubbish will be the death of me and yet if not for it, I wouldn’t be half as world famous as I am today so it is my job to figure out how to make myself look social media savvy without knowing a blessed thing about it ...after all I can’t ruin a manicure pecking at keys on a keyboard …that’s for my lackeys and editors and beside I am almost 65, can you imagine that I of the dark glasses and sleeveless will have turned senior citizen age??

12-What talent do you wish you possessed?

Any artistic talent other than my manipulative people skills and of course my business acumen. People think I am creative... bollocks ... I am the CEO of a brand not a mere fashion editor like Glenda or Jay. And well, I really want youth but that’s not a talent is it?

13- Who are you sorry you missed during your career?

Between you and me, I would have loved to have worked with that old broad Vreeland so I could show her that I was the new sheriff in town. Imagine the look on her face when they named the Costume Institute after me and not her. I raised the money and all I had to do was send invites, wave my wand and dictate to those who wanted to be included in my inner circle…… as if!!  I mean really, DV gave it a face and might have really invented it but I gave it money, of course none of my own and of course I did it as a side line while she HAD to work...poor old girl full time for the museum. Imagine she wanted the masses to enjoy it...bollocks!


Quite simply being me... and now I am part of history with my name emblazoned on a gallery at The Metropolitan Museum of Art … ha! Immortality!!


Are you asking me ‘’who is my favorite designer this month or this year or ever?’’ I mean I have so many I have created and yet they disappoint me so often. Look at those fat girls in California who I made superstars after they created those dreadful raggedy thread bare sweaters and now look at them... they think they are designers showing that cowgirl trash.. Pathetic!! Many of my favorites are those who know it is wise to lavish me with their latest wares (Thanks Miucc!)... I mean imagine if I had to waste my money actually buying this crap ... that’s for other people... not me.



AGELESS!! It saddens me that I have this frozen botoxed  face and I have turned into caricature of myself. Haven’t you noticed darling, ‘’I can barely smile these days.’’ Then of course there is the matter of my skin draping and my constant fight to stay anorexically thin. I am not sure I would know what to do if I have to cover my arms and have a face with movable parts. Alas, very soon I am 65 .. a senior citizen!!

****** compilation art by Mahyar Kalantari .. Wintourisover  by Christopher Lee Sauve

Sunday, March 23, 2014

the Vogue Obit.. an open letter to Anna Wintour

Dear Madame Putin Wintour

I want to personally thank you for taking the fashion business to its low ebb. This can only prove that everyone is a whore and the only thing that separates them is the price. You have single handedly diminished and denigrated one of the great fashion institutions of this country.

One must ponder how far off the announcement must be of the KK costume galleries at the Met or the Anna Wintour Wing of the costume institute. What a disgrace you are to have sold out a business for your own personal gain. I can only hope you will be remembered for the evil twisted narcissistic bitch that you are. You have thrown every designer to the curb and under the bus in your quest for notoriety. Shame on you!!

Recognition within in the once hallowed pages of Vogue has suddenly become a deficit rather than an asset as who needs to be featured in the fashion world’s version of the National Enquirer. What was once an aspiration and goal for so many has now become shattered if not just a laughing stock.

My ONE and biggest prayer is that one or more  your primo advertisers will feel the same way that I do and withdraw their ad $$ from any magazine where you exert any influence. One can only pray that all this manure  you have slung during your tenure will bury you forever and may shame be upon you in indescribable quantity  and oblivion and silence will be the new standard operating procedure for Nuclear Wintour

Chew on that honey!

Friday, March 21, 2014

Trends or lack thereof Fall 2014

today.. WWD lamented the lack of trend at the 2014 fall collections.. here is my reaction  to what they said ...

Now that the fashion dust has settled in New York, London, Milan and Paris and one at last begins to recover from the exhausting blur of thousands of garments, one can take stock. What is it all about? What does it all mean?

Let’s be frank (and, as you know, I am never anything but that), the word “trend” has had it. There are no
trends. After viewing all the collections (I am a very diligent reporter), I have concluded that fashion today is a bouillabaisse of everything. It makes one understand that the word “elegant” is passé. So are all those other fashion words — chic, hot, smart, fashionable. Forget it. They are as passé as passé.
**If this is true then why is it that WWD produces supplements documenting the trends of the season..  Apparently there is good reading and then the truth.

Looking at all the collections from far-flung corners of the world (not just the four above, but also everywhere from
Los Angeles to Tokyo), I noticed several things right away: The colors are weird, and the presentations are over the top, like a Ringling Bros. circus. Then there are the fashion magazines, which confuse one even more. It’s all manufactured dust. No one talks about workmanship, length or where the clothes on the runways can be worn.
**And yet reviews include extensive coverage of venue, front rows and and peripheral information that have zero to do with clothes. As for craft and tradition, that is totally ignored due to the ignorance of the writer or the dictum thjat features such as that are unimportant.. Reality has nothing to do with most collections nor  does the dirty word of salability.

(Ah, how it made me even more nostalgic for those days when I was a young liebchen at our schloss high in the Alps and I would lie on my bed eating chocolates and leafing through the pages of Carmel Snow’s Harper’s Bazaar or Diana Vreeland’s
Vogue that my mother brought back from her visits to the ateliers of Paris.)
Why is the fashion world always trying to show off its intellectual power when fashion really has nothing to do with intellect? Why are
designers still searching desperately for trends when there are no trends?
**Regurgitating the arcane and esoteric put forth by so called designers these days seems to be the M O. Reviewers offer no opinion and readers  needs a PhD in philosophy to understand what they have just seen a pile of ugly unwearable clothes.

Truth be told, women today make their own trends — and thanks to the Internet, anything they want is available to them no matter where they live. Long, short, fitted, loose, patterned, plain — name it, they can find it and buy it. What that means, my dear designer friends (and I still have a few), is that women are no longer loyal to you — or to stores. 
**In the good old days women flocked to stores clothing a photo of some piece of clothing that they had seen in a magazine. Alas, very hard to do when the clothes now require trust finds and the photos/editorials in so called fashion magazines are nothing more than art pieces rather than vehicles to tantalize the reader.

What designers — full of fashion pretense and ego — don’t understand is that shoppers are smarter than any of them. Snobbishness in fashion has gone away and Americans in particular, and many Europeans, don’t want to be told what to wear.
**as I have stated many many times.. clothes don’t come with romance cards that explain all the absurd inspirations of a particular collection. In essense those inspirations are worthless once the so called reviewer has spewed them back in their reviews. Those who review don’t seem to mind all the pretense or else why would they  repeat it and use that worthless verbiage in their reviews.

Don’t misunderstand me: Fashion still retains its inexplicable magic. Just look through the coffee-table book “Dior Glamour: 1952-1962”; the photos gave me tingles because the clothes by Christian Dior, Yves Saint Laurent and Marc Bohan are as right for today as they were then. And there are designers who have piqued my interest just as those three did long ago:
Christopher Kane in London, Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCullough of Proenza Schouler in New York, Bouchra Jarrar in Paris and the new team at Valentino, Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pierpaolo Piccioli, who are carrying on that house’s traditions in a 21st century way.
**It is sheer hubris to even use the latter designers in comparison to the former.. the latter has not a clue about wearing and life in general. The likes of YSL and Dior, no matter the designer of record offered glamour and artistry and clothes that befit the lifestyle of the client. Today’s designers are clueless for the most part.

Face it, women still love a sense of discovery. The newly independent woman will, when she sees something she loves, buy it immediately — even climbing over racks of merch to find that one isolated dress. They buy what they like and what makes them feel comfortable in their own skin.
**Face it !! women are like sheep ..just as the general consumer is and just as we have been raised to think that fitting in is much better than standing uot. This may also influence all the me too collections we see on runways all over the world. Designer have no trademark style they churn out clothes of indeterminable origin.. Yes, the “me toos” are lauded by those who ask for newness. One more time, apparently purpose and sales are rarely considered.

And why shouldn’t women (and the increasingly fashionable man) be picky? Who wants to be just like the rest of the fashion herd? How do consumers react today to the opinions of fashion directors of stores like
Bergdorf Goodman or Harrods or editors like Anna Wintour or Glenda Bailey? In the old days, it used to be the big designers in Paris, Milan or New York showed their collections on the runways and then Seventh Avenue manufacturers would copy that for the masses, who would flock to snap them up. Well, at least sometimes they would. A very close friend of this old countess once urged retailers to push a midcalf length he dubbed the Longuette. So they did — and women ran for the hills.
**Anna and Glenda are chasing ad dollars not dreams nor the aspirational customer and not the consumer for if they were in fact “advising” their readers they surely would reject most of what they propose. The fashion calendar was re arranged to offset the long standing gripe that if NYC was last, they were accused of copying the Euros and so the calendar was changed and alas now that NY is first they have shown us they have no direction, no innovation and least of all any great clothes.. just hype and inspirations and clothes which insult those who might be able to afford them and mostly designed by designers who smirk at a camera and have no clue how to drape or draw.

Perhaps that was the first sign that times were changing. Now the whole fashion engine as we knew it needs to be rebuilt. And it will be because, in truth, the customer is always right (well, almost always).
**The system is indeed broken but apparently no one has the starch to change to change for fear of reprisals by the Popessa.. now who’s’ the sheep? How utterly sad that no one speaks out and sadder than a business that once thrived and produced some of the world’s greatest design talents has been allowed to devolve with designers of maybe mediocre talents but have HUGE ad dollars and HUGE PR machines and MEGA conglomerates behind them. There is so much talent that has not been recognized!!!

The really stylish — and I’m not talking about the costumed women today’s street photographers follow like sheep — aren’t really influenced by the fashion elite, and never have been. The ladies of the past — Babe Paley, Gloria Guinness, C.Z. Guest — were personalities in their day because they created their own style. And clothes were only part of it.
**And yet, magazine focus on the fashion circus rather than the rality of fashion. Fashion icons or women of great personal style still exist all over the world but they are ignored as they do not fit the mold of one person’s myopic and fiduciary vision of fashion. There are still women who have their clothes and rely on designers, but apparently they are not relying o the “pets” who are of no talent, style or allure.

These women weren’t fashionistas — a word I hate. I prefer the word “passionista.” Freedom is the heart and soul of fashion and style. First, to dare and, second, because clothes are part of what makes us all feel better about ourselves.
**And the point is that the consumer hjas a sheep mentality for the most part and all the publications paly into it otherwise what could be the reason for that the same 15 resources inhabit the pages of all the so called fashion publications out there. The magazines push conformity not individuality

So go for it ladies. Challenge the Establishment. The Fashion Machine needs your help.
 Is that WWD was originally pointed or directed to the creators and purveyors of fashion and yet here they address the consumer. So, the assumption would be that WWD is no longer a trade paper  but is in the same bed with the other fashion rags that promote fitting in.


Monday, March 17, 2014

Meet Alvin Valley .. the king of pants !!

Somewhere it was written that Alvin Valley took 6 months to perfect the fit of the pants he produced when he started his business and suddenly it made all the sense in the world to me as to why he earned the moniker … “the king of pants.” Mr. Valley has been off the fashion radar for a while but he is once again seismically registering on the radar screens of those who wear, wore and swore by these pants.

As if I wasn’t totally convinced enough about Mr. Valley’s prowess, I asked a devotee, a 21st century style icon, as well as a business colleague …. “I had heard much about the genius of Alvin’s pants (most of which seemed a bit inflated with descriptions such as “life changing”) until I tried on my first pair and became an immediate aficionado…I swear you zip in two inches taller and one inch slimmer!” …. Nicole Hanley Mellon

This week marks his official return to “the radar screen” of fashion with the relaunch of his website. Please note that the mistakes of the past will not be repeated and hence we see “the King” has a new kingdom predominantly populated by what catapulted him to fame in the first place ... I speak of pants, impeccable tailoring and now “uber” fab dresses mixed with softer silhouettes.

From the “horse’s mouth”... “I love the idea of a building a wardrobe with my clients, with the foundation being the perfect pant. The idea is that we are establishing certain signatures and updating them. A change in color or fabric is enough." 

It is gratifying for me to spotlight a designer who is sage beyond his years and actually has the desire to clothe real women and not some oddly fantasized concept of what women look like and what he thinks they like to wear. In other words this is Alvin Valley, who wants his ladies to look fashionable and to have a wardrobe that befits their lifestyles. Once again I am proud to present one of a small cast of characters who inhabit the world made up of designers who design!!

Q.  What is the most treasured possession in your wardrobe?
A.  A leather jacket from Tom Ford's last collection at YSL.

Q.  What is your most sterling trait and what trait do you treasure most in your friendships?
A.  I don't know if it's a sterling trait, but I do feel I am someone with lots of gumption, and I stick to my convictions. I treasure in my friendships their support and solidarity, whatever I'm going through. Either successful or not.

Q.  What is your bliss?
A.  My dogs, Lana and Nina.

Q. What is your guilty secret?
A. Getting inspired by my friends without them knowing it. These women with amazing personal style, strength, independence, and above all, power while fusing that into my designs. Some of these women include Rena Sindi, Vanessa Getty, Alexandra Von Furstenberg, Nicole Mellon, Alexandra Lind Rose, Fernanda Niven, Eva Lorenzotti, Kick Kennedy, Minnie Mortimer, and Olivia Chantecaille

Q.  Where is your ideal home?
A.  A modern, sustainable cottage by the pond in North Haven, Sag Harbor, designed by Peter Sabbeth.

Q.  If you could not be a designer what would you be?
A.  A landscape architect in the East End of Long Island.

Q.  What is on your bedside table right now?
A.  A pair of scull paintings by Nathan Bond. 

Q.  What do you wear to bed?
A.  Night guards.

Q.  What if any, book are you reading now or last read?
A.  The Breakthrough Experience by John F Martini. It was recommended to me by a great friend who lives in Paris. I bought 10 copies and gave them to my friends.

Q.  What’s your advice to the “newcomer”?
A.  Don't think that you are more important than your clients.

Q.  Who or what is your inspiration/style icon?
A. Dorian Gray.

Q.  What is the best advice you ever received?
A.  Don't believe the hype!

Q.  In 3 words or less, describe the current state of fashion.
A.  Polished. Structured. Sophisticated.

Q.  If you were a retailer, would you wear your own designs or shop in your own store…or where would you shop?
A.  I would absolutely wear my own designs…but they look better on women.

Q.  If you won a $200,000,000 power ball (lottery), what is the first thing you would buy or do?
A.  The first thing I would do is call my lawyer.

Q.  If you could invite up to 4 people for dinner, who would they be…dead or alive?
A.  I would want a table full of strong personalities, and interesting conversation. Marchesa Casati, she fitted the utmost female example by saying:  "I want to be a living work of art". Maria Callas, she's still the definition of the diva as artist. Maria Felix, La Doña, who always represented women as power figures. And finally, Robert Redford, for his all-American looks and ease.

Q.  What is your favorite movie/or movie star?
A.  Bette Davis in All About Eve. As a child, watching this movie inspired me to believe that women could be the bread winners in their homes, and that they could ultimately decide how to live their lives, independent of any man. The ultimate question, "Can women have it all?"

Q.  What is the one thing you would change about yourself?
A.  My height, everything else I've changed.

Q.  Whose opinion do you value most and why?
A.  My Board of Directors. They are smart, successful and support my vision.

Q.  What store or which designer do you most like to shop in or wear?
A.  I only shop online. Net-A-Porter and Moda Operandi.

Q.  What’s your take on magazines, books versus the internet?
A.  Tablet only.

Q.  Do you have a dream collaborator?
A.  Andy Warhol.

Q.  What is your crowning achievement thus far in your career?
A.  Buying my brand back and building an incredible team.

Q.  What’s your music library like?
A.  Eclectic 80's.

Q.  What and where is your favorite meal?

A.  Chicken for Two at Omar's Private Dining Room in New York City. Omar has created an amazing, intimate experience. 

Own the pants of your dreams ...

Friday, March 14, 2014

meet Fabio Salini .. master jeweler

In 1964 Barbra Streisand sang” when in Rome I do as the Romans do!” Maybe these lyrics were the precursor of what developed some 30 years later; I speak of master jeweler and craftsman Fabio Salini. I am guessing my audience has not heard of Signor Salini but then that’s why you have me. Fabio Salini is, quite simply put, is one of the great “masters” of 21st century fine jewelry.

What brought the brand and the artist to my attention was reading about his collaboration with Fernando and Humberto Campana which yielded a mere 8 pieces after 8 months of arduous, painstaking and meticulous labor. The project incorporated indigenous materials, such as bamboo and straw, combining them with diamonds, other precious stones with 18k gold and resulting in what can only be termed the haute couture of fine jewelry…or an alta gioielli, if you will! Every piece possesses the ability to render its viewer slack jawed.

Just so you don’t think that Fabio Salini is a “Johnny One Note” you can witness that his training at Cartier and Bulgari served him well by providing him with the tools he needed to stretch and broaden the breadth of his imagination and collections. I read once that Alexander McQueen was quoted as saying” in order to break the rules,  you need to learn them first” and that clearly applies here as Signor Salini took his classical training and converted it into the unconventional but exquisite pieces that became his signature.

The jewels of Fabio Salini include the imaginative as well as more classical pieces. For me the true beauty of owning a piece of Salini is to own those which exemplify the spirit of the designer, meaning the more unusual and controversial. Combining silk cord and diamonds or stingray and gemstones are only a few of the unimaginable combinations as well as the aforementioned bamboo etc. Those are, after all, the pieces that brought him to international fame among those who know of what they speak.
So back to the beginning, “when in Rome…” make it a point to visit the “Atelier” Fabio Salini on via di Monserrato and report back to me with your findings. Or just let me know what you think of these rare and fine beauties…..

Ciao a tutti!!