Monday, March 31, 2014

Anna Wintour.. "the never gonna happen" chat

Due to a slight bit of misinformation, this conversation can be shared today. Please take note that this "chat" is fictional but it is based upon my research  and from others who have known her during her career. Please enjoy..

1-Who would you want to follow in your footsteps?

REALLY!! What kind of question is that to ask me?? The only logical reply is that there is no one who could do what I have done and surely no one who could be as powerful as I have become and with only an eye on the bottom line. As you might have guessed ... I groomed no one to proceed me.

2-What is your favorite color and why?

GREEN!!! It’s the color of 2 things I love the most... money and envy. Well I do mean everyone else’s envy of me, after all who wouldn’t be envious of me? No matter what they say about me, I am the most powerful person in fashion; more powerful than Arnault or Pinault or any “O” hahahha

3-What do you think of the current level of taste/style in the USA/Europe?

It so doesn’t matter, I tell them all what is good taste and who is chic and who is not and if I need to sell more magazines I just wing it like that low life trash couple I put on the cover. I needed to get Vogue a larger presence on the internet and in social media so I used that garbage as a vehicle to get my way. Who cares what everyone thinks, and if that couple thinks they are now hot stuff ... they are the same filth they always were just all dressed up and on the cover of Vogue because I want them there for my own selfish reasons... Think of it ... it is deliciously evil of me  ... true … yes??

4-What is your least likable quality?

Without question of course it is my screw you attitude and the fact that everyone is cared of me. You know of what I speak... the one that says I really don’t give a crap what you think of me! It isn’t easy being me after all, look how fabulous I have become all because I had to prove to daddy that I was able to make something of myself even it meant crushing people under my feet like insects, which I do sort of love as it only reinforces my powers.

5-What quality do you most loathe in others?

Their disdain of me, after all they should be thrilled for me.  Bollocks! I have accomplished what no other woman nor man has ever achieved and that is to have so much  power over so much media and the entire fashion business that I can control what you see, buy, think, read and more. As I said it is difficult to be such a megalomaniac and to be so deserving of it

6-Do you think of yourself as a star/celebrity?

Darling now really, of course I am all of those things and I am a media mogul... a titan of power ... I just own nothing ...well of course that doesn’t count all the graft I get behind closed doors as you know I have to give the appearance of being impartial but we all know how long that lasts and after all who can be in this only for the glory!!!! I have transcended mere celebrity and am an icon for the ages ... c’est vrai!

7-During your career … who were your favorite colleagues?

Of course there is Grace, dear sweet Grace who still wants to believe in fashion, so I let her have her way and allow her the luxury of thinking she is contributing but alas she is at my mercy and my whim as they all are. I mean I have lackeys and toadies like that oaf Andre who is now gone as I just had to because he thought he could eclipse me … hahahhahaha (and now he is history like old news) … and that limp fish Mark but they are just my pawns so I don’t have to get my hands dirty. Then of course there is dear Hamish who I allow to write some puff pieces, review some shows and have some fame on his own as it is cheaper to do that than pay him more. After all darling, money is key… I need all of my perks so the others will just have to do without... n’est ce pas cheri??

8-What are your feelings about the press/media in today’s world?

I “own” the fashion media... anything that is worth anything is under my thumb ...isn’t that just delicious? Sy was such a dear to give me so much power. He actually thought I would leave but I would be mad to leave and give up all this power, the limelight and all these perks... I mean really!

9-Who did you have a crush on?

Well of course there is Roger and Rafa but I do love me some Roger... sweaty young thing …just makes me tingle!! Yes it is true... even if people think I am ice goddess I still perspire at the thought of a young Roger with a turgid member …OOPS! My bad??

10-What is your biggest pet peeve?

People who doubt me in my decision process or those who think I am overstepping my boundaries. Well, darling, I have no limits; I am Anna freakin Wintour, the kaiserine of fashion, I am omnipotent. Look at how fabulous I am and look at what I accomplished and ‘’they’’ all want a piece of me... so what if I destroy some people and magazine on the way … just collateral damage leading to my brilliant success.

11-Do you think your career would be different if there was an internet during your life?

This internet rubbish will be the death of me and yet if not for it, I wouldn’t be half as world famous as I am today so it is my job to figure out how to make myself look social media savvy without knowing a blessed thing about it ...after all I can’t ruin a manicure pecking at keys on a keyboard …that’s for my lackeys and editors and beside I am almost 65, can you imagine that I of the dark glasses and sleeveless will have turned senior citizen age??

12-What talent do you wish you possessed?

Any artistic talent other than my manipulative people skills and of course my business acumen. People think I am creative... bollocks ... I am the CEO of a brand not a mere fashion editor like Glenda or Jay. And well, I really want youth but that’s not a talent is it?

13- Who are you sorry you missed during your career?

Between you and me, I would have loved to have worked with that old broad Vreeland so I could show her that I was the new sheriff in town. Imagine the look on her face when they named the Costume Institute after me and not her. I raised the money and all I had to do was send invites, wave my wand and dictate to those who wanted to be included in my inner circle…… as if!!  I mean really, DV gave it a face and might have really invented it but I gave it money, of course none of my own and of course I did it as a side line while she HAD to work...poor old girl full time for the museum. Imagine she wanted the masses to enjoy it...bollocks!


Quite simply being me... and now I am part of history with my name emblazoned on a gallery at The Metropolitan Museum of Art … ha! Immortality!!


Are you asking me ‘’who is my favorite designer this month or this year or ever?’’ I mean I have so many I have created and yet they disappoint me so often. Look at those fat girls in California who I made superstars after they created those dreadful raggedy thread bare sweaters and now look at them... they think they are designers showing that cowgirl trash.. Pathetic!! Many of my favorites are those who know it is wise to lavish me with their latest wares (Thanks Miucc!)... I mean imagine if I had to waste my money actually buying this crap ... that’s for other people... not me.



AGELESS!! It saddens me that I have this frozen botoxed  face and I have turned into caricature of myself. Haven’t you noticed darling, ‘’I can barely smile these days.’’ Then of course there is the matter of my skin draping and my constant fight to stay anorexically thin. I am not sure I would know what to do if I have to cover my arms and have a face with movable parts. Alas, very soon I am 65 .. a senior citizen!!

****** compilation art by Mahyar Kalantari .. Wintourisover  by Christopher Lee Sauve

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