Valentino fall 2018 haute couture

Yes, without question there will be swooning and  oohing and aaahing and wet panties galore after this collection but all I see is an amazingly spectacular display of clothes for your viewing pleasure… not to wear so much as to ogle at and be awestruck that fashion can be and is an art form.

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To me this it’s all about color, opulence, volume, ateliers, luxe fabrications and over the top “big picture” looks that will make glorious editorial pages and wonderful Instagram posts, what I don’t see is helluva lot of clothes that can be worn … well… yes there are some but mostly the “action” is in the looks that will over power any woman on any occasion. 

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No matter the references that have been regurgitated in the press releases I see Veruschka in the Vreeland years , I see Liz Taylor’s astounding floral head piece and I even see reference to the work of the late Michael Vollbracht but these allusions are to mundane for the high thinkers that designers believe they are. 

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There is no question that this is a visual orgy, a visual feast and a very suitable way to close a week of couture shows but alas … I openly admit that I don’t get it!

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Armani Privé FALL2018 HAUTE COUTURE

If you want slick, sleek, refined, demure, classy, clean, chic, elegant, modern clothes you have come to the right place... you even get to have pants!

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It comes as no surprise that Armani delivers a mostly tailored message yet with the counter point of softness below the waist and then you have Armani dresses, gowns and flou!  

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Armani shines when he sticks to his palette and strays off course when he decides to go all out for color... one might even say lots of oopsies in that area but all is forgiven when you look at the perfection he delivers along with the missteps.

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Yes, I could live without the hats and the over the top flourishes but then again this is couture and that is what makes couture a fantasy and a reality. He is apparently one of the very few who showed accessories of any kind and yet he showed jewelry, handbags and shoes as well as those sorts of silly bellboy hats that were superfluous at best most of the time.

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The collection is flawlessly and meticulously rendered and he is always true to his DNA. The brand is his and he makes it his , he owns that  DNA and massages it relentlessly, remember there was a time when the maestro offered dresses that looked more like uniforms than anything any  woman might really want. 

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Once the business grew, so did his design staff and so did his categories of what he sees as evening wear in the most raffiné and soigné way possible. These are unquestionably rich lady clothes for women who have nothing to prove.

A for his “color departure” it can be said that most were not exactly what I would call faithful to the brand but there were exceptions and they were exquisite ... just as exquisite as the rest of the collection. He always manages to show clothes that appear to be almost weightless … even the tailored and structured pieces; that in itself is an art and skill that not many can lay claim to. 

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As is often the case, this collection stands apart from the flock as it is not a dalliance or souk of styles ... this is focused intentional and pure Armani albeit with some humor and a rarity when he steps outside his comfort zone.

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CHANEL haute couture fall 2018

In the words of the late illustrious James brown …

One-two One-Two-Three uh!

Hot pants- hey hot pants uh! smokin
Hot pants- smokin that-hot pants

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That’s where it’s at a-that’s where its at
Take your fine self home
It looks much better than time
My fever keeps growin
Girl your’e blowin my mind

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Thinkin of loosin that funky feelin don’t uh!
Cause you got to use just what you got
To get just what you want-a
Hey hu!
Hot pants! hey! hot pants smokin!
Hot pants make ya sure of yourself -good Lord
You walk like you got the only lovin left

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Let’s get this straight from the onset… this was not one of my favorite CHANEL collections but the Kaiser offered us a few lessons here.

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This is what a pale palette looks like in the hands of a master….Think Mamamiamariameatball and her mishandling of that concept. This is how you make box pleating and stitched down pleats look sexy and ethereal…. Think Mamamiamariameatball. This is what happens when you play to your clients and keep in mind this is direct to your client. This is giving your client so many choices and so much variety that she will be at ends to select just one or two.

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This is a collection of variations on a theme ... to me a tad too over themed but none the less Karl uses his shows to shock and provoke and tease… and SELL!

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As in every Chanel show, we get the Karl clunkers and there are some whoppers but in return we get to see couture at its best. The devil is in the details for sure, the facings, the trims, the fabrics, the incredible work that the Chanel ateliers can achieve …tweed! I’ll give you tweed but in sequins and from a far you’ll never know the difference. There is low key and there is high drama and best of all when he hits a high point it’s memorable…. One black pouf skirted party dress and his most exquisitely painterly Empire period off the shoulder gown of off white and grey complete with train.

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Back to the beginning  ... not my favorite on any level other than some incredibly beautiful pieces that shriek new. Does anyone recall a tabard and tunics? That’s what I kept thinking... this was slash and slit Karl... I guess you gotta come up with some kind of gimmick every season and make it work … he does make it work!

PS… hated the shoes… and nary a single accessory in sight!

Dior haute couture fall 2018

If I had to hazard a guess, I’d guess that Signora Mamamiamariameatball got TOLD! … maybe even bitch slapped and told that no one gives a shit about your Gloria Steinem strong woman bullshit and that you better deliver a collection that has at least the possibility of selling!

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Well, she delivered!... sort of…  Apparently she has no clue that the ballerina silhouette is not the only one to use nor that above the ankle, tea length and long are not the only lengths since most  women … those under 6 feet tall look like they are standing in a hole when they wear 2 of the 3 options. Then of course no one told her that menopausal beige,  taupe and titty pink are not the preferred neutrals for most women. It is my view that this woman hasn’t a clue how to design a collection worthy of the house or the brand. The cabans make no sense, the accordion and sunburst pleating  and worse yet box pleating are banal at best and  that she has no idea that women who spend 5 to 6 digits on these clothes actually want to feel beautiful and look the same. Did I mention the plethora of WAIST SEAMS and the cheesy belts?

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What I cannot understand is why no one is steering this woman in a direction that might compensate for the pedestrian and meaningless collections that she has shown since her start. It is blatantly apparent that she has no idea what to do with one of most amazing and extensive archives that exist within the world of fashion. She sees everything as literal and then of course there is this little fact that clients have boobies hence these demi cup strapless confections will NEVER fit a woman who has had breast implants nor anyone above an AA cup.

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Okay so let’s now address that finally the models appeared to actually be feminine this go round complete with heels, makeup and hair but now there was nary an accessory to be seen other than a freakin single beret look compliments of Stephen Jones. On the whole one might say that visually, the collection was as dull as dishwater and ennui inducing with  scant few highpoints and a helluva lot of pedestrian indistinguishable dresses.

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In the end, yes, better than in the past but what’s the point?  These could be any label (Albert Nippon and David Warren come to mind).  Where’s the couture here? If I were you Mamamiamariameatball, I’d be very concerned when that contract comes up for renewal if it comes at all unless of course they are using her as a write off!