Christian Dior ..Resort 2014... letter to Raf

DEAR RAF,

I just had a look at resort and I am so confused as to what I saw after having the memory of your Fall show still fresh in my head.  At the risk of sounding harsh …  WTF happened here?  This collection is perplexing as far as I can tell.  I am sure your “girls’ will just coo and ooze over it with all sort of esoteric and arcane quotes from you as if that will help explain what was shown.

Now, Raf, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t like it because there were certain parts/pieces of it that were just exquisite and PURE 100% Dior for the 21^st century but on the flipside … what were you thinking with those steel wool knitted briefs and bras as underpinnings and the appliques which certainly were not as perfectly executed as one might have hoped.

Raf, you so nailed it with the color blocked styles and asymmetric draping and of course the gorgeous tailored Dior signature pieces but again WTF were you thinking with all this see through crap and please don’t say beach cover ups, what happened to the profusion of gorgeous dresses from Fall, where was the extreme polish and why do you feel the need to shock and jolt when you have already established your imprimatur on the brand???

Now kiddo, the astrakhan in magenta was just so fabulous and I just was crazy about the excruciatingly feather like appearance of some atelier quality pieces but you gotta get with it and stop trying to reinvent the wheel here.  This is Dior and you can breathe new life into it but really now, take a chill pill and get over all this nonsense with shock value and blah blah blah.  You can do it if you really want to and you can deliver season and after season of flawless collections but you gotta get a grip on the reality of the business and the fact that the label reads Dior not Raf Simons.

So listen doll, I hope you know I really love you and only say these things in the most constructive and loving way.  Hold on to that thought and let’s do din next week after the flush of the new collection is done and all the reviews have been filed.  Looking forward to seeing you all relaxed and don’t be mad if not everyone is in love with this collection...okay?? Love you...Bientot!!  Je t’adore!!

Moi

P.S. ..Raf honey.. Your ladies are not wearing bare midriff tops and transparent shifts not matter how expensive they are so find another way to try to skew the collection young… tu comprends??

Versus Versace resort 2013/14 by Donatella Versace & J.W. Anderson

There reaches a time when being polite flies out the window.  There comes a time when beating around the bush and finessing words is no longer acceptable.  With all this being said, the topic of conversation is Versus Versace by the she demon herself Donatella and its latest victim designer J.W. Anderson; rather than throw boulders not stones, lets add a dose of comedy to soften the blow.

Dear Dona and JW,

I must tell you I am just slack jawed that you showed that stuff today and that you can take it seriously.  Now listen doll, you can chat it up all you and think that this is wearable let alone salable but honey c’mon, H&M would want this for free.  WTF were the two of you thinking?

JW, I am not so familiar with your work but if this is any indication, I have to say you have a great future in carnival costumes as not even a self-respecting drag queen would caught be dead in these rags and get-ups.  I read that La Signora coaxed you into doing sexier clothes…. Well ... how shall I say this … F A I L!  I hope this paid well cause it aint gonna do squat for your design chops and reputation.  I know Donadiablo told you not to worry because it is Versace but... how shall I say this delicately ... SHE LIED! And poor Gianni spun himself 6 feet deeper.

Let me take this to a whole new level... this crap is appalling and insulting and to think you guys can make it better with that blah blah blah stuff .. Me thinks it is time for a career change to maybe a fiction writer or possibly the 2 of you need to up the meds to their limits as you are both suffering from some serious delusions.

One last thing, ragazzo, who the hell dresses like this and where are you going to wear it?  I hope you understand I said this all with love and hope that you will take this as the most constructive of criticism as I would never say anything to hurt your collective feelings.  On this most positive of notes...kiss kiss ciao ciao  kiddies... dinner next week I hope  … see you soon...try try again…….

Love

Me

P.S. Dona carrissime .. quit beating the horse ..it is dead!

CHANEL resort 2013/4

There is very little that can be said of Herr Lagerfeld that hasn’t been said already when it comes to his Chanel collections but here goes one more .. my take on the Resort/Cruise Holiday/ collection for 2014.

First, personally, I think Chanel is at its best when the color palette is restrained and by restrained I mean primarily black, white, ivory and cream … furthermore I am always pleased when the accessories are used with abandon especially the jewelry.  The cap toe classic is back and the bags take the back burner in this collection though I am sure there are jillions of them to make his ladies happy.

Secondly, there is no question that the collection is jacket and top focused which is what I guess will ring registers worldwide no matter the cost.  For me even the dresses, all the interest was the “over the table” as I am not a fan of those “gapped” skirts with that over panel detail … a straight across pencil skirt would have worked just as well in my opinion … for me it is gimmick for gimmick sake.  It should be noted that there are plenty of commercial and pure Chanel pieces as well that are tried and true.

Thirdly and then no more numbers... WTF are those men’s clothes?  For the label obsessed I am assuming they serve a purpose but from a fashion standpoint they are ”so what?”  I am guessing that if that label was on the outside of the jacket,  the lines would be out the door with every fey label whore in the world praying and aspiring  to own one …FIERCE!  You get the picture?

There are so many salable easily understood pieces on the face but what will set them apart is the excruciating amount of almost indiscernible embellishment and embroidery that seem to look as if it is fabric except the price will tell a much different tale.  The striated denim will cause the denim market to buzz, the pearls will push the fashion jewelry markets into a dither and the “diamante” and oxidized link pieces will be all over retail landscape by summer, not to mention the knit looking sweats and the off the shoulder “cricket” sweaters.  In other words it will be like a feeding frenzy with the vultures picking at their prey.

In a way, Karl is good for the economy and certainly for the business of fashion as he is a one man think tank... well that’s the way it appears to the public.  He and his team, which must be in the 100’s, fill the shows with innumerable ideas  and concepts that send design rooms,  from China to 7th Avenue, into a design inspired frenzy.

In the end, the collection  is nothing that will set the world on fire but it will manage to send the Chanel girls into a buying free for all  one more time and after all, the business is about selling clothes and he, unlike so many, delivers on that level more times than not.  If nothing else, Karl is not about the blah blah blah, he is about making a point and selling clothes...just done his way!