Jean Paul Gaultier & Valentino haute couture spring 2017

What can be said of these 2 collections other than one is positively and patently ridiculously minimal made with maximum labor and the other is a designer who designs and celebrates fashion in every way. It never occurred to me that there is such a thing as monastic and funereal frocks that are pale in color and yet here we have oodles of them here.

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Valentino is a yawn inducing exercise in how to make deceptively simple boring clothes with maximum pricing for little to no reason other than ego.  A friend referred to them as burial sheaths and that sure seems to be as accurate and apt as it can get. I see these clothes as heavily influenced by peignoirs, nuns, vestal virgins and night clothes and not in a sexy way. They are if anything erotically void and bland in the extreme, maybe you can just call them benign. Couture is about grand gestures and emotionally provocative clothes but it is rarely if ever boring; it may be “been there done” that or "it's been done before” or even just plain hideous BUT it is rarely if ever BORING! Apparently this designer has opted to stay his course and allow for the easiest comparison to his former partner who sticks to the same mindset and neither move on yielding 2 brands with less than thrilling collections. Take note of the slip dresses with straps too long as if to show off a sagging bust line and that silly tubular quilted bust line. Of course we can speak of the preponderance of duster coats and the complete absence of day wear but why bother... onto the next season of ennui and monotony chez Valentino. Sadly Valentino has lost the excitement and panache it once possessed. 

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Moving right along we arrive at destination Gaultier, home of the ribald color explosion and over the top presentation that has become a benchmark for the designer. He is a designer who designs, who massages and utilizes his DNA and produces clothes that are to be worn, coveted and collected by the cognoscenti of fashion. Yes, you must look past all the brouhaha and antics of each show but if you can see past that, you find amazingly beautiful well designed feminine clothes. 

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He is a celebration of fashion and of the haute couture with his flamboyant color palette and the OTT styling but what a joy to watch. I was told many decades ago, that one must always remember that Gaultier is a tailor at heart and he reaffirms that with fabulous jackets of every possible incarnation. Season after season the Gaultier vocabulary is defty spoken and season after season it remains strong and ever expanding, you might say JPG is expansive yet focused on all that he created and has yet to create. In essence it is distinctly and consistently what haute couture is all about ... taking fashion to the extreme especially in manufacture and embellishment … JPG is a celebration and homage to haute couture in every way. 

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Armani Privé haute couture spring 2017

This is an amazingly uncharacteristic Armani collection and yet it is distinctively and unmistakably Armani. It is as if the collection was shown as some other worldly presentation bathed in this golden glow. Let me be clear, that almost without exception I am not a fan of orange but alas I am reminded to never say never.

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The abundance of prints, the shapes, the jackets, an almost off handed look for the  models, the contrasts of hard and soft gave off a decadence, a louche quality and yet romantic vibe that can’t really be put into my words. It is just an aura/mood than I sensed when seeing these clothes combined with the styling. Maybe one can say it is something like a filme noire of old! Again, it is all Armani, all the way and yet it is so not Armani in so many ways but in the end it is just a glorious collection for those who appreciate the art and craft of couture as well those who grasp the Armani esthetic which is in your face all the way through.

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The amazing croc jacket with almost pagoda shoulder and so many prints and combinations are just a salve after all the concoctions that have waltzed down the runways in the past weeks. This is glamorous and chic and refined and urbane for women who know exactly what they want, how they want to be perceived and noticed. These are not the clothes of wall flowers or for those who wish to blend into the crowd; they are unquestionably knock down drag out top shelf clothes for only the most discerning and wealthiest of clients.

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CHANEL Haute Couture spring 2017

Here’s what I Know: the fabrics were pure CHANEL... the colorations were absolutely spring... yes there were plenty of signature pieces... When it was perfect it was fabulous... when it was less than pretty it strayed to verge on WTF is that… on the whole it was heavy handed... blockish .… clumsy.. disappointing… maybe lazy … 

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maybe there were about 15 stellar pieces and the rest was who cares or for the fashion victims who can afford such extravagant folly… some of the more subtle details were sublime .. The ateliers were shown off to maximum usage especially Lemaire … the jeweled boots amazing … the casting mediocre and in fact very young eastern euro iron curtain looking with no poise … it will sell like crazy to the blindly faithful CHANEL legions … 

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I just contemplate whether Karl is weakening or just has this flagrant disregard for it all knowing he is Teflon. No matter my opinion as when the time comes fashion will have lost probably the most prolific advocate of fashion that the business has ever produced and no matter what, this man will create a void that will not even be filled. 

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In the end I say... go gettum Karl... as Vreeland said... Give em what they never knew they wanted and so he does season after season. He created a slot machine that pays a mega million jackpot season after season

Christian Dior Haute Couture spring 2017

Well, the good news is that what’s her name has decided to forego printed tee shirts and an overabundance of sheer for couture. On the flip side, she hasn’t quite shed her Valentino days. The mind boggles that with an archive as vast as Dior and the talents that are at your fingertips how does a designer go from the funereal to the woodland nymph without skipping a beat. 

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The tailored segments (ode to the BAR) while exquisitely tailored and rendered sure do have that old lady Jolie Madame kind of vibe with those silly lengths and all-encompassing New Look silhouettes. To call any of it modern is patently absurd. What Maria Grazia Chiuri hasn’t retired is that menopausal palette that was so pervasive when she was at Valentino, likewise for her idea of prints, the cape like silhouette and that foreboding monastic aura. To say that it is all odd is an understatement as they seem to lack  an elegance and an air of refinement that is associated with the brand. 

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The collection seems to wander in no particular direction despite the so called fantasy ball theme. One has to wonder what all of it would look like without the silly headdresses and with normal shoes. Yes, no question that the clothes are perfection in terms of quality but the design is severely lacking and so is the content/direction. Who is wearing all these tulle confections with pleats and where are the divinely chic and slick clothes that might have segued from the opening exits... in essence where’s the flow,  where’s the connect and yes, couture is all about piece by piece yet the premise is still that it is shown as collection.

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In the end, it is better than expected but nowhere near what it could be. The question that always comes to mind is who is whispering in her ear? On the whole the clothes look contrived and a bit heavy handed with a mentality of throwing everything against the wall to see what sticks. Maybe what I am trying to convey is that the clothes have no grace, so much looks heavy handed …  if you catch my drift.

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PS... Can we talk about the sudden single bursts of color like grass green and tangerine … why?