GUCCI Resort 2023

Well, all the pseudo intellect is in tact but apparently the bag of tricks is empty. With all the gimmicks and overloaded accessories omitted, you are left with the one fact that most have known since the day this ass started his tenure at Gucci... he is NOT a designer nor does he have a clue about what it takes to be one.

Who is the audience?  Where is the aspiration? What does anyone want to look thick or like a runaway inflated float from the Thanksgiving Day parade. The images tell the story far better than my words. This is one of those ... Hello Zara... this one is for you if you want it as I   don’t think even H&M or Forever 21 will be interested.

It’s a school project gone awry!

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AUGURI>>>>>> THE LAST EMPEROR Valentino

 AUGURI Valentino Garavani... THE CHIC, as dubbed by the illustrious John Fairchild, Valentino lived the life of his customer.. glamorous , stylish, urbane, impeccably turned out at all times...

he is one of the last of a breed that no longer exists.... Happy 90!!!!

Chanel resort 2023

Where to start? Well, any seasoned fashionphile will immediately think of Karl’s tour de force shows at the Lido BUT this iteration of resort is in no way related to that other than sand and surf and of course, the absence of Karl or for that matter a competent designer who couldn’t find more visuals that speak to the location other than mostly car racing.

For starters, where is the glamour we all think of when we think of Monte Carlo, Princess Grace, gambling, money and excess? None of that can be seen here! Here we have gas station jockeys in coveralls, baseball caps, jogging pants, a tennis sweater, printed tees and a whole lot of exceedingly generic looking clothes that are made to be recognizably Chanel by adding some logos, tweeds, oddball accessories or buttons.

The photos speak for themselves, her exit at the end speaks for herself as ... do I really have to go out there? She should be jubilant she is employed by the largest most successful privately owned label that the entire world of fashion looked to season after season and yet her body language tells us it’s a drudge for her to present a collection.

There is no common thread, no cohesion here ... it’s just pieces ... a jacket here, a dress there and dare I say, whip out your old Pearl Nippon and get a bright colored Chanel logo belt and presto you’re chic...........NOT! A granny jacket with tap shorts or jogging pants is not the story of Chanel but for Virginie, it apparently is with no explanation. What was the bib fixation? Where was the swimwear? Where was the glamour, the luxe?

Rant over ... I’m done in and for me there is no excuse valid enough for this pile.

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A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM!

And so, one more time, that once elegant evening at the Metropolitan Museum of Art benefitting the Costume Institute has taken place again. Yes, it used to be in December and yes, it used to bring out the best of the best when it came to guests and yes it was a night to remember for all who attended whether for dinner or the “after party” which was the most fun of the evening even for those who sat for the dinner!

Sadly Ms. Wintour has turned this fairy tale night into a circus for D-list celebrities, wannabes, designers, never will-bes for the most part and least of all for the creme de la creme of those who really support the institute. It was insult enough when the ass kissing museum copped to name the Institute after Wintour, who clearly should have shown that she was indeed a lady and refused it and told the world that the Institute should bear the name of Diana Vreeland who turned the Institute into something to be reckoned with and turned the museum on its ear with Thomas Hoving!

So here you have the Cremora of Kreme or name that somebody... anybody and then ask why are they dressed like that?  Welcome to the debacle of fashion!

THE IMAGES TELL THE STORY BETTER THAN I CAN PUT INTO WORDS!

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THE WORLD ACCORDING TO CHRISTIAN DIOR

 WHO IS CHRISTIAN DIOR... READ ABOUT HIM IN HIS OWN WORDS AND FIND OUT....a book review by Jeffrey Felner: The World According to Christian Dior (nyjournalofbooks.com)

ACADEMY AWARDS 2022 or What were they thinking?

I have long lamented the days when movie stars owned the clothes and jewelry, they wore on this night of nights but now, especially, we have entered into the Instagram phase of this awards show where likes and shock value are more important that any kind of actual style. Celebrities no longer select their clothes, they are offered payment to wear clothes, most preselected by stylists, some of whom are barely up to the task but do all the heavy lifting.

It was a “mammorable” and memorable event this year for sure. We learned that those cup-like necklines clearly don’t work on ANYONE and certainly reveal who had implants and who did not! I read this morning that Zendaya’s outfit was compared to the white shirt and black skirt of Sharon Stone from years ago except the point is lost when you consider that Stone’s shirt was from the GAP and she put it together herself, not a designer who created an outfit for their brand ambassador that would cost in the 5-figure category!

As is usual, I ask if there was a hairdressers’ strike on Sunday and if these women actually look in a mirror other than a magic one?

PS... it is one of those extremely rare moments that I say   that an Armani gown was one of the most ill-conceived and rendered among the lot!  ... and yellow is really reserved for Big Bird!... and by the way... who the F..K are  some of these people?

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Ralph Lauren fall 2022

He just proves my point ... you know when I constantly harp on signatures and that bells and whistles don’t make you a great designer. Then again, this man has probably one of the best styling teams in the business who are of one like mind and that is THE BRAND!

Some will yawn and some will dismiss, and I say well, how long do you think these designers of the moment will survive in this business. Ralph has unquestionably withstood the test of time and successfully invaded so many contiguous branches of fashion and he’s not the flavor of the month nor does he receive glowing reviews every season for any of it and yet the collection is immediately recognizable on an international scale.

So how many Instagram famous so-called designers can boast a public company that THEY started and has sustained itself for over half a century... most of them will quickly be forgotten when the next flavor of the month appears and will leave no discernible mark that they ever were here!

For some reason this collection made me think of the Clothilde days and that’s certainly not a bad thing at all. It’s slick, its ageless, it’s classic, its timeless and it’s slick or it’s not ... that’s up to you. Yawn if you will, listen to the clap trap that designers offer as justification for what they show or just watch how it’s done and what you get when it’s done correctly!

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Alexander McQueen fall 2022

There are many things that can be said about Sarah Burton, but the most important is that on her worst day she is head and shoulders above the majority of her peers when it comes to delivering on a collection! I will openly admit that I had to read one review before I could write mine as I was curious, a rarity, to know the backstory, otherwise known as the blah blah blah that most designers use as an excuse or rationale rather than a jumping off point. Burton told it plain and simple, shooting from the hip, that New York City was her inspiration ... well...  that’s enough for me ... I don’t need any esoterica or faux intellectual espousals from any designers.

While I may not have been crazy about the dresses, in most cases, whether for fabrication or reasons of design, the high point of this collection was in the tailored pieces which ranged from close to the body (not second skin) to slightly and I emphasize slightly, oversized. No balloon dragging hemmed pants, no shorts, just slim pants worn with stilettos and not oafish or Wookie shoes. Imagine that, she touched on so many trends that I found so wrong in other collections but when done with this kind of skillset, they were so slick, so smooth and so right!

The one shoulder jacket with asymmetrical organza pouf lapel was staggering as was the tuxedo dress with glacé lace and beading. It’s a rare moment I can speak about McQueen as being soigné but so many times in this collection it was with seemingly little effort. The airbrush prints sure did remind me Lee’s famous show where the paint was sprayed onto the model and then of course there was black leather, some tough as nails and others as feminine as charmeuse gown. I guess it is best summed up by saying this is what can happen when designers actually design.

My biggest criticisms would be that I wish the dress part was stronger or more pleasing to my eye and that the casting did not lean so heavily on so many gender fluid models rather than the more “painted “variety ...  that’s just me as I think that would have been an asset.

Anyway ...I did like it ... A LOT ... I just can’t say I LOVED IT!

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Chanel fall 2022

On the plus side, to her credit, Virginie did not board the trend train that started in New York and continues to this day and beyond. BUT girl what were you thinking here? This looks like the farm girls got dressed to go to church or some ho-down somewhere!

Karl (too bad for VV that she will ALWAYS be compared with him) always had his share of clunkers in every show but NEVER a show full of them. This iteration makes all the models look thick and burly and the clothes leave so much to be desired that the photos say more than the words I can offer. Lurex tights and leg warmers, rubber mucking boots and by God the thick and tweeds and buffalo checks.

Yet, the film conveys a whole different message of girls doing a very bad rendition of the twist, the swim and the frug which would suggest we are supposed to think 60s... well, what did I miss?  I didn’t see any swinging sixties, the fantasy of the Vreeland years or the youth quake unless you think “8 maids a milking” are youthful after they mucked out the barn wearing their rubber boots and tweeds.

To say that this was sadly one of her most ill-conceived collections would be like saying the Pacific Ocean is a puddle! I just can’t fathom that with everything that has come before you and all the years you supposedly spent next to Karl that this comes to your mind as being the Chanel you know!

PS... was I so distracted by the unappealing clothes surely less than fabulous styling that I didn’t exactly see a collection brimming with accessories? BTW, it’s the 65th anniversary of the sling back cap toe pump and yet we got rubber boots!

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