Vaquera SPRING 2021

 I have begun or possibly long believed that so called reviewers and designers run their mouths ad nauseum and yet the words never match the actual clothes. case in point is Vaquera!!!

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the Vaquera trio still identify as fashion outsiders, they’re certainly influential ones.

the Vaquera trio can focus on creativity

Wearability has been emphasized

which of these tried and true expressions of fashion for each new collection has anything to do with what you see here? Does any reviewer actually see the clothes or are they simply regurgitating a press release and never seeing the actual collection?

Personally, I’d feel you’d think I was blind let alone being an asshole for falling for that tripe when it comes to these so-called wearable clothes… as for being influential… to who? Creative … well sure but to what end? 

Kindergarteners are creative too!

Valentino spring 2021

 Once upon a time the brand and the designer had this flawless reputation with a look that was quickly and easily associated to them both. He lived the lifestyle of his customer and alas as with most of these heritage brands, it is now in the hands of some over hyped, overrated and so-called designer who threw way all that was the very elegant, sexy and slick work of Valentino Garavani. Don’t get me wrong the original was also capable of the molto signora! 

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This season after seasons of   just silly over blown clothes whatever his name is delivers this meaningless, pedestrian,  generic wildly expensive collection (the term in the loosest sense of the word) ... there is not one discernible trademark look except the wrong ones which are the ridiculous sheer moomoos and over blown printed caftans which will be knocked off … maybe… for one tenth of the price.

There are far better-looking clothes at H&M, Zara, Uniqlo and I’m sure if you are a treasure hunter at TJ Maxx and Marshalls. He should be embarrassed to show his face after what he thinks is an appropriate collection for the season. I can’t even discuss the men’s since it is even more meaningless and absurd than the women’s.

This brand must hemorrhage money like a hemophiliac as the only things that seem to have a trademark are the pyramid studded shoes. its n wonder they want out of the Fifth Avenue store!!

 che triste stato di cose....  apparently he and his  ex design partner were quite evenly matched when it came to their collective and singular lack of talent and vision and how to preserve a brand that warranted a much longer recognizable life.

Giorgio Armani spring 2021

 To his empty space and to his virtual audience Armani did exactly what I suspected he would… he dialed it down all the way. Some will say yawn and this again and I say brava.  The man understands his customer and he knows what’s going on in the world and the clothes reflect this very relaxed slouchy and occasionless type of dressing…of course except for the evening gowns which will be bought by his most devoted of clients.

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So, to the naysayers, I say go on about the brilliance of that hack Jeremy Scott, the intellectual pedestrian designs of the new George and Gracie or the coming tee shirt collection from  Dior since the meatball has so many causes she can protest and I say gimme some Giorgio who is a designer for the ages who designs for HIS clientele.

Take note the colors more somber, the accessories at a minimum and the shoes mostly flat or close to it. The collection is well thought out and in tune with the times for HIS customer.

CHI È PIÙ INTELLIGENTE DI ME ANY TAKERS?

 No need to worry  about setting up the barricades to  hold back the throngs longing  for these spring  clothes!

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At a time when in store shopping is barely existent and discounters are closing up shop. please explain why  ANYONE needs any of this to wear nowhere!

The images  speak for themselves and please  do not speak to me about stifling  creativity..speak to me of reality and times we are living in!

 

Understood?

 

Capisci?

VERSACE SPRING 2021

 So here is my conundrum with this collection… I think Donatellamamamia got the vibe right and possibly even hit the mark with some of the clothes BUT … and I emphasize BUT… it was by mistake.

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You could be Carmen Miranda in your Flying Down to Rio skirt or some naughty slut girl in your Carol Baker Baby Doll dress but then I realized that the star fish pattern is derived from some very serious fine jewelry as does the embroidery (yes, I’ve been reading a lot of jewelry books lately). Looking even more closely was the added attraction of the shoes which were a fashion statement to embolden each look and then I knew she took this seriously!... don’t ask about the hair I haven’t a clue!

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What could have been a very tongue in cheek and … well cheeky collection was presented with a far too serious intent and lots of jiggling boob.  Even the tailored jackets looked right but as PIECES not as outfits ands then take into account the sheer amount of dresses which certainly led me to believe she wasn’t giggling when this was designed and that’s the pity of it.

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Of course it was total over kill, but no more than let’s say Dolce &  Gabbana, except like I’ve pointed out... one came off joyful while the other came off as a serious no  holds barred collection as if to ignore the world’s pandemic state,  and I know you can say that doesn’t mean that all clothes need to be dreary or look like sweats  but there is a tone deafness when a collection  looks like nothing has changed and  we are  all free to go and do as we please anywhere anytime.

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PRADA SPRING 2021

 Just when you thought that Prada couldn’t get more boring …  a great meeting of the intellectual minds took place and Miuccia and Raf combined their blah blah blah to create a tedious and pedestrian collection that highlights the “clutch coat,” (doesn’t everyone want one?)  the "egg" coat (another useful item) the fit n flare circle skirt and snug top and the triangular Prada logo slipped on some needless basics unless you wish to be a walking billboard for the brand.

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One can only imagine the esoterica and endless intellectual dissertations and diatribes that accompany and supposedly legitimize a collection that like this that is about as exciting as staring at grass growing, picking pet dander off a black sweater or watching paint dry. Yes, it’s relaxed, informal and I guess free of gimmicks and accessories but who cares because if these are 2 of the great designing minds then just send in the clowns and let’s call it a day or get yourself to a Zara or H&M pronto.

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PS there will be no unforgettable climax as in when Harry Met Sally!

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Dolce & Gabbana spring 2021

 Within this cacophony of colors, patterns, patchworks and everything but the kitchen sink there is a joyful collection of PIECES! I don’t see this collection as I would normally think or review D&G as I can discount all the dresses or a good many of them and all I can see are great pieces that one can own and that stand on their own.

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Maybe a jacket, a blouse, a skirt, a pant and yes maybe even a caftan or a dress and one can feel happy in them and they don’t necessarily need a special occasion to wear them... they require a woman of confident style who knows what she likes and wears what she wants whenever she wants.

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Even though in a stretch of the imagination I can see YSL, Versace or maybe even Lacroix, but none of that matters since the spectacle leaves you smiling and not shaking your head or wondering where one wears this or where are they going in these clothes. Maybe you might even find pieces in your “closet museum” that resemble or can be part of a cocktail of these fabrics, patchworks and collages.

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Kudos to you boys for not singing that Sicilian love song once again this season and instead bringing a festival and not a funeral of fashion! It’s a joyful noise of fashion… SO screw the happy pills and jump on the mood elevator …CAUTION may cause dancing around the house just as we did in the halcyon days of disco! One last thing, just maybe we can forget the dire situation we are all living through for a moment at the moment.