Christian Dior spring 2017 Paris

Facts according to a NY Times article of July 8 this year:

60% of total Dior business (5.5B euros) comes from perfumes and cosmetics; That leaves 40% for accessories, clothing of all classifications, shoes and whatever else to fill in the blanks.

She has never led a house by herself.

This collection is the warm up to the70^th anniversary of the maison.

Okay so the mantra of Christian Dior was that he wants to make women beautiful and well he has turned over so many times in his grave that we really can’t be sure in what part of the world he is now residing. 

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Ms. Chiuri may have brought her ambition, her love of sheer and knowledge with her but what she didn’t bring is any idea of the DNA of the maison. I mean printed tee shirts at Dior is like serving Nathan’s hot dogs in one of Joël Robuchon’s restaurants. Not only do we have the blandest color palette around but also the most yawn worthy of collections to mark a debut. 

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Yes, she has put her mark on the brand with doll clothes which are a cross between swordsmanship/fencing and Degas ballerinas. Make sense? Well not to me either

You would think that after all the hoopla and all the carrying on that you might actually sit up in your seat and take note but instead you have to be careful not to nod off and fall asleep. Bad enough to have printed tee shirts but straps with Dior printed on them and phrases embroidered on a hem .. it is just the nadir of supposed high fashion. Favorites include hands cupping breasts .. lobster on bustier .. knee high sneakers and some dreary black pieces.

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What ever happened to lush and chic .. glamour has left the building! And oh yeah I am sure the Diorphiles around the world will be breaking the doors down to get to this pile

Paule Ka spring 2017 Paris

I have watched this collection for years and never been spurred to write about it but this season I am compelled to do so. Words almost escape me after looking at a collection that is dress-centric, feminine, pretty and now for the dirtiest word of all … wearable!

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Now, don’t get the wrong idea and think that I believe this is a collection to set the fashion world ablaze BUT these are clothes not just clothes to be paraded on a runway but clothes that require no explanation, no blah blah and nothing that requires any imagination other than “ how will that look on me?”

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The references are rife and much of it seems to be 70s from my memory of that era but no matter as the designer has addressed women of varied body shapes and who possess a more classic outlook in terms of what it means to be well dressed. The gimmicks are few and far between, the vibe is fresh especially in comparison to what we are seeing and... I know it is a sucky word… but they are pretty.

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No doubt many will think this all very boring but in a time when most collections seem to be designed for markdown racks, you might want to consider a collection that has great eye appeal and of course there is possibly the second dirtiest word of all …  salable! So in the end, there is no mega fashion statement or revolution to be seen here, just clothes that have a better chance than not of walking out the door rather than a change of address from full price rails  to markdown rounders.

Jacquemus spring 2017 Paris

I think I would like to refer to this new genre of fashion as “fashion Misogyny!” fashion designed by a designer whose single vision is to make women look like fools and then there is of course that extreme possibility that he hates women and this is their punishment.

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The kool aid has been consumed by the fashion media “He is not one of those designers pretending to be underground-edgy or ironic à la Vetements. His talent has an aura of sincere naïveté and idealism, tinged with a slightly melancholic romance.” Maybe it’s a mind altering substance and not the lethal Kool Aid of the Jim Jones variety! Do you think by naïveté they mean not a lick of any clue as to how women like to look or why they wear clothes?]

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In all fairness, no the collection is not as totally absurd as its direct relatives but hell, imagine a 5’4 women in most of these clothes. Talk about swallowed up! Yes, there are pieces that might be imagined on a real human hum but as a whole, as a collection, it is not very appealing. What troubles is me is that I can almost see what these clothes would look like if they were scaled to a more realistic and consumer based proportion but then it would be so boring as to be stultifying. 

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Hence, over scaled, overrated and unattractive clothes get lauded and applauded simply because the fashion media needs hype. The retailers need clothes to sell. In reality there are some looks that resemble the wardrobe of a crazy lady who lives down the street from me.  She walks this decrepit old king Charles spaniel while she shields her head fill of platinum extensions with a parasol, wears thrift shop hand-me-downs, all worn with her stretch-out ballet slippers. Oh yes, this is aspirational fashion at its finest moment!!

Saint Laurent spring 2017 Paris

Doesn’t anyone understand how to mine an archive?? You massage what is old to modernize and up date, you don’t take an archival style rip it to shreds then think it’s new and fabulous ... in this case, new is the least of it  and fabulous doesn’t even enter into the equation ... 

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There are clothes that look like they were made at Mable’s House of Drag from cutting room scraps and even a drag queen wouldn’t wear some of this crap. It is a Helmut Newton shoot gone wildly astray ... then there were a few pieces that I could have sworn came out of Hedi’s old collections!

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Dropped shoulder leg o mutton sleeves and flapped over leather and see thru tops with under the breast waistbands ... could it get any less tasteful... any more forced and  tricked out.. Jeez... What drug are you on ...  you need to stop talking and start designing clothes that might sell, other than one more black smoking or one more tailored jacket and no need to repeat the Victor Victoria style either or the Night Porter one breasted dress. What a disgrace to the name. Vaccarello should hide his head in shame to even attach his name to the brand

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click image to enlarge then cover your eyes

Let the paid for critics lap it up and fawn and coo... I prefer to call it what it is ...  a pile of crap masquerading as fashion ... And as for the retailers, well when will they tire of buying markdowns?

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PS... Kudos to you for not making the girls look like left over drug addicts and I guess you can get credit for making Hedi look good! Oh and before I forget... how’s it looking to you Pierre?